Archives for posts with tag: nostalgia

Infinite Possibilities

August 18, 09 //
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It’s a wonder how priorities change.

I look at the youth of today and see that they have the same interests I had a couple or so years back. I feel nostalgic yet distant. I remember sharing the same interests as they do, sometimes even more passionate.

But here I am, concerning my self with ‘adult’ things: work, finance, responsibilities. Issues I couldn’t care less before, but now is a matter of life and death.

Yet in the distance, I feel there are so much more. Looking outside while taking a break, I know there are infinite possibilities to look forward to.

But the moment, in the here and now, stuck at the office doing overtime work.

I can only sigh.

In a world that was once

February 25, 08 //
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Avignon

I’m trying to paint again. And if above sample is of any indication, I may have lost the skill.

It’s sort of a quick “sketch” of one of the images I have been picturing in my head recently. So I wasn’t actually going for realism here, but I was going for something painterly bordering on abstraction1 . And just want to convey some emotion to my brush strokes, but it feels lacking. But am happy enough to post it here, or I’m just posting it here just to show it.

The point of the matter I guess is while doing the above painting digitally, I realised how much I missed painting in oils — The tactility, the smell, the visuals. And I realised how much I want to go back painting, but my confidence is equally lost to the years without practice. And part of my brain tells me I can’t really go back the same way as I was before. If I do want to go back that way, it’ll be different — I should be different.

Years of focusing in web design was a complete detour from the road that would have been a painting career. I don’t regret it. But I somehow wished that veering off the path and going back to visit the other road didn’t mean pain.

I might do more paintings like this in the near future just to realise the images running through my head. So don’t expect really pretty pictures or realistic ones, especially when I’m out of practice.

I would like to apologise now for being… completely vague or not understandable. It’s nostalgia talking.

Avignon is a character from a collaboration with Ami.


  1. I may be spouting some bulls*** right now, but as a supposed artist, I guess I’m entitled to that. ↩

So many years have passed…

August 9, 04 //
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I’ve been almost forgetful recently.

I forgot that last May 15, it was my blog’s 2nd birthday ^^; bad~ So not thoughtful of me to remember. But thinking about THAT, made me think– WOW! It has been THAT long already?

Gahds! Am getting old! Am starting to reminisce!!! *lmao*

Well… in all fairness, I am a year older now. Barely a bit wiser, but I can tell you am more experienced now and all… Even if I do tend to forget a lot of things recently. *slaps forehead*

And yes, this is the time for flashbacks…

3 years ago, I joined an organization, the UP AME, that I didn’t know would actually change a huge chunk of my life… in so many ways.

2 years ago, I’ve connected with just some of the people in the org I can totally enjoy my time with.

2 years ago, I feared a commitment.

2 years ago, was one of the most exciting and best years of my life. Because for once– I can totally be simply myself.

1 year ago, I was asked to choose.

1 year ago, I was confused.

1 year ago, I was forced to do something I didn’t wat to do.

1 year ago, I stopped denying myself of the things that can make me happy.

1 year ago, I said yes to the one who can make me happy.

1 year ago, it was the start of my coming-of-age.

A few months ago, I realized I hd to do something. I wasn’t exactly really happy with what was happening in my life. I had to choose.

A few months ago, an opportunity came– and accepted that.

And now… am doing okay.

I don’t know exactly what I would want to ask for now, am basically content with what I have now. And the things I’ll be asking for now will ust be able to help in the convenience of my life. Otherwise… am happy. ^__^

And I thank God for all the blessings.

And the fates as well…

*****

Gift from my beloved
My gift for him. *^_^*

Yes… am all mushy now. *lmao*