Archives for posts with tag: drama

A new year, a new start and with it new challenges.

For one, I should stop being too hard on my self most especially when it comes to designing my own sites. I am after all busy designing and coding for work, so I can be forgiven if I don’t have enough time to focus on my own sites and use other people’s themes. I still want to create my own though, but until things settle down, hello open source smiley

Secondly, some things have happened which will not allow me to have extra money for the next six months. So with this, I need to work harder, spend less, and stay home. Which also means, I have a lot of things I can do and finish on weekends, hopefully.

Finally, but not the last of my current challenges, is keeping it all together as anything and everything comes. I am just really grateful to have a supportive husband, loving family and understanding friends with me to get me through this. They are an awesome support system and I hope that I can do something for them as well.

A new year, a new set of challenges.

*breathes*

Bring it on.

I am currently in the eye of the storm. A very strong one.

I have already faced the initial wrath of the storm, but I am here waiting for the inevitable torrents it will still bring.

There were no warning signs. Not even the most reliable of meteorologists could have guessed it. There were these random minute circumstances, but everybody passed it off as trivial things. But no one thought it would be this huge.

I have nowhere to run, I have nowhere to hide. I can try to shield my self from it, but it will still come.

The fear has latched onto me and is crushing me. But I must stay strong, or at least appear to be. Because if I falter, I will break and everything around me could bury me into despair.

All I have is hope, and even that is so little.

I know this will pass. I just hope I survive it… and live.

A bad dream

It’s just one of those days.

For the past two weeks, I was rushing to meet an important deadline with delays, bugs and frustrations along the way. I’ve been venting out my frustrations with one-liners via Plurk and it helped ease the tensions once in a while.

Finally those two weeks have already passed and has given me a breather. A breather time where I finish answering email correspondences with clients, tweaking CSS styles and testing other programs. When you are being trusted to much by your superior, my work ethics kick in and keep me busy for the whole time. The pressures of trust.

Work aside, I’ve been encountering that one in a hundred1 occurence that one person in a part of a population experiences in their life. It’s the fight of my life to date, and it’s more heart-wrenching than anything I’ve experienced. And I don’t look forward to the possible outcome at all.2

The little things help me keep sane during this toughest of times. People who care enough to check on me, places and things that are still there, and enough rest and sleep.

Sometimes they are enough, sometimes no.

But even if I’m not strong enough, I will my self to push on. Because I still feel needed, and that’s enough for me.


  1. or of a higher probability, am not entirely sure of the statistics
  2. Vague is my middle name!