Questions
I wasn’t able to sleep well last night (just when I really need it so I can be really well now) for some unknown reason. Probably because so many things were going through my head o.O which I should’ve left empty before going to bed. It’s a bad habit of mine to get my creative juices working before sleeping– I dont get enough time to do it. So I stuff unfinished business under my pillow so I can get back to them the next day– or night.
What went on through my head last night [til 2 in the morning] you ask?
Well, for one thing, I remembered Ami’s post with a snippet from a story she read:
Sometimes, you hurt people by being too polite. Say what you want to say. It’s okay to upset people sometime. You’re not a god. But even God upsets some people, so why wouldn’t you?
Dang it. I simply saw myself, literally. I try hard to please almost everyone. No matter how hard I’ve fallen into deep waters because of it, I still can’t say no to anyone. Especially my friends. The funny thing is, I have a thicker skin when it comes to my parents…
Then the idea came back– that I would soon probably have to leave PhpWebhosting…
Then questions rapidly went into my brain– like a horrendous torrent of water rushing into your lungs so you could not breathe. In my case, I couldn’t sleep. The fm radio on and stopped at a love song station didn’t help…
# Why do i find it harder to say I love you to people you truly truly love and are closest to me? Which is my family? I find it easier to tell my friends those words… [question inspired by Ronan Keating's If Tomorrow Never Comes]
#If I did not join my organization, I would have spared myself from getting into any controversial issues like now. But then… I wouldn’t have met my harem–er, CdL. So which would I have picked if I were shown the future and given a choice? [the questions just went on...]
… other questions blurred due to exhaustion, lack of sleep, and mere delusions, er high fever…
The last question I remember was
# Why am I suddenly sensitive to all the love songs I’m hearing??!
Well, sorry. I was too sick to get up and kill the radio if you’re asking me why I didn’t turn it off
