Out into the World
am happy, no really, I am… okay… no, am confused…
I am now at that phase of mixed feelings of happiness, sadness, excitement and self-doubt…
Happiness
…for it’s all over– the countless sleepless nights, crying over plates that I thought I cannot do, the tight schedules that I cram with my fun hours of procastinating, the hellish teachers…
…because my mom and dad can finally be at ease, and be happy because there’s only one left needed to support…
…since I can finally be free– almost…
Sadness
…because am gonna miss my friends, and hanging out with them…
…because I am now about to step out of my parents’ protective shell…
…because I am now about to see the truest of my self…
Excitement
…for all the possibilities that can happen all at once…
…for all the things that I can discover by myself…
…for this freedom…
Self-Doubt
…if I will think, say and do the right things…
…if I am supposed to be in the right track…
…if I can do this by myself…
I’m scared as well…
Have I chosen the right profession to stake my whole life with? Can I be one of the artists that will stand the test of time in the Philippine Art Scene (this I doubt, but I dream of and work for anyway). Are my abilities enough to get me there? Is this path the one I really wanted to take? Is this world going to accept me as who I am? Will I be able to handle all the challenges this force called life will send my way?
As I’ve said, one step at a time, one foot then another… I can’t possibly answer all these things at one go… But am hoping that I CAN do it… I will try to go with everything.
Heck. This is that adventure called LIFE.
And am about to brace it.
