Chaos Theory
Just questions… Nothing big…
… What would you do if you failed something? In something everyone supported you on, and told you you can do it. What if there was just a written part of the whole test, which is 30% of the total– and you fail it, hands down? And to think you graduated with honors! My, my, my. And you have yet to talk to the people in charge, and ask if it has a big pull on all your other tests which you fear you have failed as well?
You laugh. Nervous, yet you laugh.
… What would you do if you have been sent an SMS telling you are b****, that you could just go f*** up, that you are not wanted to be seen anymore… by a person you barely even know that well… and know you have done nothing to deserve something…? Oh sure, you’re scared. Your head probably starts spinning, and thinks back what you could have done to deserve it. And wonder what could’ve really happened.
You laugh again. Afraid, yet you laugh.
… What would you do if you were given a task of calling 100 people at the minimum, to answer your questions, in a span of three days? Of course, from the comfort of of your own home– but you can do nothing but burn your fingers speed dialling and trying to make them participate? With the fear of them slamming down the phone on you, or just wouldn’t want to answer 5 simple questions?
You laugh, yet again. Hoping by the end of the week, you’re all done and just lying on your bed, staring at the ceiling. Hoping you were somewhere else… Hoping you were with someone…
… What would you do if your week just didn’t start off right? Everything started off with the wrong foot and like dominoes in a single file, catches up til the end of the week?
You stare at nowhere. Worried. Worried you failed so many expectations. Worried you sent the same wrong aura to other people. You have trouble sleeping. Yet showing the people around you everything is okay. That you are strong. That your Adversity Quotient is up there. And only cry inside.
But you try to move on, no matter how hard. You try to work your way through it. You try to distract yourself.
And hope that by Friday, all your tasks are done. And you have nothing else to worry about.
But another test. Seeing someone again. Or simply forget there was a world to live in.
And you’re just there, with that stupid smile on your face.
